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It’s not a new thought. But it’s something we too often take for granted: relationships over programs.

I’ve heard it more times than I can count. I’ve said it more times than I can count. Youth ministry is about relationships. Our ministries are built on the idea of developing relationships with students.

​But if we’re honest, there are times when we get caught up in the details of our programs and miss the target of relationships. Whether it’s leading a retreat, planning a weekly gathering, organizing a mission trip, or managing calendars and logistics, it’s easy for our focus to drift from people to production.

We spend countless hours searching for better games, stronger teaching series, creative event ideas, and ways to make our ministries more engaging. We attend conferences, read books, scroll social media, and save ideas we hope students will love.

Programming is a major part of student ministry. We all want to create environments students are excited to attend.

And honestly, I love programming.

​I’ve spent years building retreat schedules, planning mission trips, organizing community events, creating mystery weekends, and developing ministry calendars. Programming comes naturally to me. I enjoy it. I love the challenge of creating meaningful experiences for students.

At one point, our ministry was working hard to maintain momentum through programs and content, but something still felt off. We were busy. We were active. We were producing. But connection felt shallow.

So we made a shift.

Instead of asking, “How do we get students to engage with our program?” we started asking, “How do we help students feel known?”

We became more intentional about personal connection.

​Leaders began reaching out to students individually — not just through social media posts or group messages, but personally. Handwritten notes. Text messages. Phone calls. Conversations before and after youth group. Small group check-ins. Intentional follow-up.

We organized our ministry around connection instead of attendance.

And honestly? It changed everything.

Students responded to consistency. They responded to leaders who remembered details about their lives. They responded to adults who genuinely cared about them outside of church programming.
We also discovered something else: relationships thrive best in smaller environments.

Big gatherings are great. Camps and events are valuable. High-energy programs absolutely have a place. But discipleship tends to happen best when students are known personally by caring adults.

​That’s why small groups became so important for us. Students opened up. Leaders connected. Trust developed. Conversations deepened. Ministry became less about managing a crowd and more about walking with students personally.

Relationships really do matter.

Students today are surrounded by noise, content, pressure, distraction, and performance. More than ever, they need adults who are willing to slow down long enough to truly know them.

Yes, students want fun. Yes, they want engaging environments. But underneath all of that, what they really want is to know someone cares.

​And when students know they are cared for, the doors open for deeper discipleship, honest conversations, spiritual growth, worship, evangelism, and authentic community.

So as we plan calendars, build teaching series, organize events, and dream about the future of ministry, maybe the better questions are these:
​

• What in our ministry actually helps build relationships?
• What programs create space for students to be known?
• What traditions or activities are keeping us busy but not helping us connect?
• What do we need to start, stop, or simplify so relationships remain the priority?
• How do we keep ourselves from drifting back into over-programming?

Programs matter. But relationships matter more.

At the end of the day, students may forget the games we played or the schedule we carefully crafted. But they will remember the leaders who showed up, listened, encouraged them, prayed for them, and walked alongside them.

​And that’s the kind of ministry worth building.

​- jay

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For many youth leaders, ministry can easily become a constant cycle of activity. Week after week, event after event, it’s easy to stay busy without always stopping to ask if we’re truly being effective.

​At one point in my ministry journey, I found myself stepping back to seriously consider what youth ministry could—and should—look like. I began to take an honest look at what I was doing, ask why I was doing it, and whether it was actually helping students take meaningful next steps in their faith.

That kind of reflection isn’t always easy.

​I had moments of frustration. Times where I questioned whether I was doing enough—or doing the right things. I felt the weight of expectations, wrestled with comparison, and had to confront areas where I knew growth was needed. But through all of that, I began to see something important: if we’re not careful, busyness can mask ineffectiveness.

So I made a decision—to look beyond the noise, the pressure, and the pace of ministry, and instead focus on what God might be trying to teach me.

What followed were a handful of key shifts that reshaped how I approach student ministry. Here are five lessons that helped move me from busyness to effectiveness:

Don’t lose sight of the vision God has given you. It’s easy to settle into maintenance mode, but effective ministry requires faith, creativity, and a willingness to keep dreaming about what could be.

Bigger isn’t always better. Sometimes the most impactful ministry happens in smaller, more intentional environments where students are known, heard, and discipled.

This series comes from lessons I believe God has been teaching and reminding me of in student ministry. My hope is that it encourages you to pause, reflect, and refocus on what truly matters.
I’ll be breaking these ideas into a series of shorter posts to create space to go deeper into each one.

​If any of this connects with you, I’d love to start a conversation. Youth ministry is better when we learn and grow together.

​Looking forward to hearing from you.

​- jay

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Have you ever gotten sidetracked?

You’re focused. Moving forward. Making progress. Then suddenly something pops up—and before you know it, you’re distracted, questioning, wondering… and stuck trying to figure out what to do next.

It happens all the time.

You’re in the office working on your next youth gathering when a notification pops up. You click it… and 20 minutes later you’ve bounced from post to post to post. Sidetracked.

You’re in a planning meeting for your next retreat, and somehow the conversation shifts from afternoon games to the latest Avengers trailer. Sidetracked.

Or you’re teaching middle schoolers about God’s sovereignty… and someone farts. Yeah—good luck recovering from that. Sidetracked.

Distractions are inevitable. The issue isn’t that they come—it’s how we respond when they do.
The danger isn’t the interruption; it’s allowing the interruption to derail your calling.

You’ve been entrusted with responsibilities—your ministry, your family, your commitments. These matter.

​And when distractions pull you away to the point that you neglect what God has already placed in front of you, that’s when it becomes a problem.

So when a distraction comes, pause if you need to. Evaluate it. But don’t let it pull you away from what you already know you’re called to do.

Stay focused on what matters most.

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When distractions become significant, communication becomes essential.

If you’re married, this is especially important. Talk often. Be honest. Process things together. Make space for real conversations as new information comes in and decisions need to be made.

If you’re not married, lean into a trusted friend, mentor, or parent—someone who knows you well and can offer perspective and guidance.

You don’t have to navigate difficult seasons alone.

At some point, we all get sidetracked.

Most of the time, it’s temporary—we refocus and move on. Sometimes, though, the distraction runs deeper. It forces us to pause, reflect, and wrestle with bigger questions.

Recently, we’ve experienced a few of those moments ourselves. Circumstances have caused us to step back, pray deeply, and seek clarity about what God is doing. While I can’t share the details, I can say this: we are choosing not to let these distractions pull us away from what God has clearly called us to right now.

Instead, we’re leaning into prayer, discernment, and intentional communication—trusting that God is at work in ways we can’t yet fully see.

And on the other side of this? We expect to see evidence of His grace and His love in powerful ways.

That’s my prayer for you as well.

​When distractions come—and they will—don’t lose your focus. Stay faithful. Stay grounded. And trust that God is still leading.
​
— Jay

If you’re a youth worker running on empty, you’re not alone. The late nights, emotional weight, constant availability, and spiritual responsibility can quietly drain you. You love students. You believe in the mission. But lately, you may feel exhausted, discouraged, or even questioning whether you can keep going.

That’s exactly why you need a spiritual retreat.

​Not as a luxury—but as a lifeline.

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If you’re weary, don’t wait until you’re completely burned out to step away. Taking time for a retreat isn’t quitting—it’s choosing to stay healthy enough to keep going.

You don’t have to carry this alone. Step away. Breathe deeply. Sit with God.

​And let Him renew your heart for the work He’s called you to do.

​- jay

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I am always looking for opportunities for training, networking, and a little time out of the office. As a youth leader, a chance to be with other youth leaders for worship, encouragement and training is something I strive to keep in my yearly routines. So when the time came to attend the Youth Leader Summit, I was excited.

My time in Michigan was the last Summit for 2025. But the dates for 2026 are here. Take a few minutes to visit the YouthLeaderSummit.com, to learn more about the 2026 Summit locations, dates, and registration.

Don't miss a weekend designed for youth leaders, by youth leaders.

- jay

This past week I participated, for the first time, in Footprints on Campus. Footprints on Campus is a national prayer initiative that invites youth leaders, para-ministry organizations, churches, adults, anyone really, to come together to prayer-walk their local schools. The primary objective is to pray for 67,000 schools and 1,200 juvenile detention facilities across America. I participated by attempting to organize prayer walks for our local schools in my community. We have 5 schools in our district; 3 elementary schools, a middle school, and the high school.

​The whole experience was powerful. I've prayed for schools countless times over the years. But with the exception of showing up for See You At The Pole events or one-off prayers while sitting in my car in a school parking lot, going and praying on school campuses hasn't been a regular routine of mine. So to go and pray for our local schools on the campus was an exciting opportunity. And in doing so, I learned a couple things that I want to share with you. Here we go...

At two of our schools we had either teachers or teacher aides show up to pray with us. I was struck by their own desire to lift their students up in prayer. But not just their students, they prayed for their co-workers, support staff, and administration. As I was listening to them pray, I heard their hearts and thought, we need to be praying for these teachers.

But not just in a clump-prayer like, "God, we lift up our teachers to you...blah, blah, blah..." No, I'm thinking, we need to pray for our teachers by name. Let's reach out to our teachers, ask them how we could pray for them specifically. What are their needs? What are they seeing happening among the students? What's happening in the school? How can we pray for them as they serve students? Pray for teachers.

As I make my way to my office, I drive pass 4 of the 5 school buildings in our district. It occurred to me that as I pass by each school, I could say a drive-by prayer. Drive-by prayers, short, 2 to 3 sentence prayers for the students, teachers, staff, and administration. And not just while driving to the office. These are prayers we can make every time we pass the school buildings. 

May I suggest you consider doing something similar. Make it a habit to practice drive-by prayers when passing by your schools. Say a short prayer. And every time to drive by, say another prayer. Then another.

Are you willing to pray big prayers? I mean, BIG prayers. I was at a retreat recently, when I was convicted of my prayer life. Not my lack of a prayer life, but the size of my prayers. No, not how long they are. How BIG they are. I was challenged to consider what it was I was praying for. I found myself leaning into prayers about life and ministry, but they were general prayers. The challenge was to pray for big things. God-sized things. 

So that is what I am going to do. Since the retreat, I have started praying bigger prayers. And that's what I am encouraging you to do. Pray BIG prayers. The bigger the better.

I want to invite you to join with me next year for Footprints on Campus. Here's a link to the website. Footprints on Campus.

What are you praying for? What BIG prayers are on your heart? How are you seeing God move in your life, your ministry, in your community? Share those in the comments below.

​- jay

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I number of years ago, I wrote a blog post for YM360. They asked for something that helped youth workers begin to think about their summer and how to make to most of their time. So I wrote, Make the Most Out of Your Summer. The article included three quick thoughts that youth leaders could apply to their summer planning with the hope of setting aside some valuable time for themselves, their families, and the students they served. You can read the original post here, Make the Most Out of Your Summer.

For many of us, summer brings the slow-down factor. Schools out, families go on vacation, students are off to camp or summer jobs; and the church takes on a light summer schedule. The busyness of programming, small groups, bible studies, and school events all take a back seat to summer. This is a great time to do something that helps you become a better youth worker.

Read a couple books. Take an online class. Take an in-person class. Set out to study a book in the Bible you've been avoiding. Set to meet with someone that you respect who you might learn something from. Use the lighter schedule to do something that will help you grow. And ProTip; maybe what you need to grow in isn't youth ministry. Maybe you need to challenge yourself and look at a topic or practice that will truly challenge you.

In the business of the school year, we don't always have time to dream big, God-sized dreams. Most of the time we're just trying to keep our head above water and our students (and sometimes leaders) from hurting themselves. We have study time, meetings, message prep, program planning, 1-on-1's, bible studies, parents to meet with, pastors to meet with, volunteers to meet with... Too often we go from one appointment to another appointment. Where in this busy schedule do you ever have time to dream about and for your ministry.

Schedule some time in your summer to dream big dreams. I would suggest setting aside a weekend for yourself or your team, to go somewhere, and simply begin to ask the, What If? Don't try to figure everything out or plan details, just ask, "God, what would you have us do?" Then let the ideas flow. And, don't be afraid to dream big, crazy, God-sized dreams; the kind of dreams that when you see them on paper you say, Only God could make this happen. It's okay to dream, so go and dream big.

In my original article I wrote about spending time with your family. That would include your wife and your kids. Whether a family vacation, trip, or adventure, spending time with the family is always a win. But how about setting some time aside to be with your spouse? Your spouse is often one of your biggest cheerleaders, and at the same time, the person who might sacrifice time with you the most. 

Set aside some time to spend with your spouse. I'm not thinking a day, though that might be a good start or the best option depending on your season right now. No, I'm talking about multiple days. Perhaps a weekend. An extended time away from the normal routines of life where you can simply be together. A stay in a hotel. Travel to a local destination location. Book an air b-n-b. Have a romantic dinner. And if any of those ideas are not possibilities, call on some friends, siblings, or grandparents and ask them to take the kiddos away for a night or two and plan the most amazing, romantic stay-cation you can imagine. The point is, don't neglect your spouse for the sake of your ministry. Us the summer as an opportunity to reconnect and appreciate your spouse.

Maybe you have a hobby, maybe you don't. Either way, take some time this summer to practice a hobby. If you have a hobby that you already enjoy, see what it would be like to take it to the next level? If you don't have a hobby, find one and get started with it this summer.

Over the years I have found myself getting deeper and deeper into building a garden and growing vegetables. It started with just a few tomato plants, some cucumber plants, and a couple peppers in my backyard. Today the list of vegetables I plant is close to 20+ items; many of which I start as seeds. In the late summer, early fall, I harvest my veggies and either can, dry, or freeze the bounty. Doing this gives me time to be outside, get my hands a little dirty, and do something that has become very therapeutic for me.

Your hobby might not be found playing in the dirt, but a good hobby can be a healthy distraction from the stress and busyness of ministry.

The point of all of this is to take some time to focus on you and what matters most to you. Whether it's your physical health, your spiritual health, or your emotional health, your family, your spouse, or your future, you need to take time to care for you. But time caring for you during the summer months doesn't really change anything if you don't establish healthier practices all year long. 

This summer might be a great time and space for you to begin to think about your over all health more long-term. Taking control of your calendar, creating space and time to work out, having dinner with your family, studying or have a quiet time, this are all things that can become healthier habits that lead to a healthier life.

I know for me, personally, I plan on establishing a few new, healthy practices for both my family life and my ministry life. As I get older, I am becoming more and more aware of my need to have margin and balance in my life. I am also feeling the realities of not always choosing a healthy diet or exercise plan for myself. At the same time, I am realizing that I need to be healthier (emotionally and spiritually) for my family, my students, and my leaders.

At a recent youth leader conference with my NNYM co-laborers, we were reminded that if wanted to see others around us thrive, we need to be thriving in how we live. I'm not ready to burn out because I didn't take the time to prioritize and prepare for the life and ministry that God has called me into. I want to see him work through me, in the best ways possible.

​I hope that you might want to say the same. Join with me this summer and together, let's set out to have the best summer ever...for YOU!

​- the youth worker daily

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I am so excited to share the next chapter of The Youth Worker Daily with you. After a 2 year sabbatical, it's time to get back to sharing student ministry. That means there is new content, both in a written format here on the blog and video content on the TYWD YouTube channel. I am also looking forward to the relaunch of my podcast, Conversations with Every Day Youth Workers, which will begin airing this coming Fall (2025).

Those last couple of months opened the doors to join two ministries that worker with youth workers; PACT Ministries and the National Network of Youth Ministries (NNYM). PACT Ministry provides relationships, training and equipping for evangelical, full-time youth ministers helping them grow in their personal spiritual life, their family relationships and their student ministry through a unique combinations of highly effective, proven educational, relational, and experiential strategies. (from https://pactministry.org/about/about-pact)

National Network of Youth Ministries (NNYM) seeks to see every youth leader thrive in deeper connection with God and each other so that every young person is changed by the story of Jesus. They create collaborative spaces for youth leaders to be personally encouraged, professionally equipped and spiritually strengthened for faithful and effective ministry with the next generation. (https://www.youthworkers.net/mission-and-values.htm)

These ministries connected with two of my ministry passions; youth worker networking and youth ministry coaching. After a few more months of prayer and conversation with NNYM,  I joined their team. And with PACT, I began my training to become a certified ministry coach.

Then something unexpected happened. Just when we thought we had stepped into our 'what's next,' God opened another door. Just as we were getting used to our 'new roles' we were called to serve an incredible church in Cleveland, Ohio. All of a sudden we were thrusted into full-time student ministry, while connecting with youth workers part-time in the Cleveland area. I can't help but look at all of this and chuckle, just when I thought I knew what my next was, God said, 'I'm not done with you yet.'

The plan had always been to bring The Youth Worker Daily back as a resource to youth workers. Through weekly blog posts, I want to encourage youth workers with helpful content that encourages, equips, and connects youth workers to tools and resources for your ministry.

The vlog is home to practical tips , how-to's, and tricks that I hope will help you with the nuts and bolts, game ideas, creative resources, and fun ways to engage with your students. The vlog will be another weekly tool that I hope provides you with fun, interactive tips to help you thrive in your ministry.

The podcast, Conversations with Every Day Youth Workers, is something I love doing. It connects with every day youth workers and gives them the space to share their stories and the amazing things God is doing in their ministries. This summer, I hope to begin having those conversations with the goal of posting weekly episode starting in September of 2025. 

Here we go. More tools, tips, and resources to help you thrive in your ministry. The Youth Worker Daily wants to encourage you as you reach students. 

Know that you are being prayed for. Know that you matter and that you are making a difference. Know that what you are doing is vital; a calling to be Jesus' witness first in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth. And through you, God is changing the lives of students.

Welcome Home.

​- the youth worker daily

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I've been thinking a lot lately about this question, and thought it was time to put it out there and hear what others think.

Of course, this question leads to a list of additional questions. And while I'm not going to get into those questions here and now, I think I will circle back and address some of them in upcoming blog posts. So stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, watch today's vlog!