I saw this video in my Facebook feed this morning. Because the title had millennials in it, I had to watch it. Being a GenX'er, and a pastor who has worked with and continues to work with students who now fall into the millennial age bracket, and the next generation, I am always interested in what's being said about the generational breakdowns.

Simon Sinek is an author, speaker, and consultant who writes on leadership and management. (Wikipedia bio) His websites, SimonSinek.com and StartwithWhy.com, are chalked full of tips, how-tos, tools, and resources for leadership and management, including his books, Start With Why, and New York Times and Wall Street Journal best seller, Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t..

What struck me about the video was his assessment of the Millennials. Simon suggests four characteristics that millennials deal with; "failed" parenting, technology, impatience, and environment. Please take a few minutes to watch the video below.

So, is this true of all Millennials? Or is this a glimpse of a larger problem that has infected society with a deeper cultural issue?
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As I watched Simon describe his four characteristics of parenting, technology, impatience, and environment, I found myself agreeing with his assement. The realities are "failed" parenting, increasing use of and addiction to technology, lack of patience, and the lack of conifidence in social and corporate settings are trends that we have seen in our student ministries and community families for a number of years now. But is it just the Millennials?

I think Simon is on point with his assessments, but I believe it's more than just a millennial issue. For instance, as a parent to parents, I would strongly suggest that we consider our roles as parents. I believe that there has been some break down in fulfilling our responsibility to parent our kids. I think it's time that we stop coddling our kids and instead begin preparing them for the realities of life; relationships, careers, success, failure, and soforth. To continue to deprive them of these realities is only going to prolong the problems we see already developing in our society.

Let's rethink our decisions when it comes to the availability of technology. Yes, I am one that deeply believes in the value of technology, but as a tool for life and not as a way of life. Having 3 teens with smart phones and tablets, I am all to aware of the dangers of unlimited access. To enhanse the problem even more, 3 of our 5 have been given laptops from the school for their studies. That would be great if the district had a more comprehensive plan for the technology, but the reality is, they now have a new device to watch videos, check social media, and surf the web with. And let's be honest, not only are they doing it at home, but their doing it at school as well.

But it's not just parenting and technology.

As a youth worker to youth workers, if you served students between 2000 and 2015, we are just as quilty as the parents. Because for many of us, we have created a student ministry bubble within our churches that has supported the same kind of harmful thinking. We have catered to our students in creating attractional, entertaining, and consumer driven ministry models that have separated an entire generation from the the large body of the church.

Over the last 20 years, we have become super influencial with our students. Students listen to what we say. They watch what we do. And they make life changing decisions based on the influence we've had on their beliefs, principals, practices, life styles, and purposes. I'll talk more about this in an upcoming blog series I am researching and preparing for about student ministry and the church. Look of it starting in 2017.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we have created the problem. And now we have to make a few changes. We need to step back and ask some hard questions, both in parenting and in ministry. It's something that we all deal with. In some way, if we are honest, we would have to say that we too are impacted by these same issues. Even as a GenX'er, I found some of what Simon describes to be true of me and my generation. So to limit this to just the millennials would be narrowing our blame and denying that there might be something greater at the root of all this.

I see Simon's first two charactistics as the problems that have produced the issues of impatience and inability to deal with the social and work environments. But I believe that we can, and we should begin the discussion of how we can start to resolve the problem. Relying on corporate American to deal with our failures as parents or youth workers, or teachers, or community leaders, or coaches, or whoever else has helped to raise this or any generation, is foolish and expensive. Instead, let's own the fact that we have helped to create a big problem, and take the time to begin to make it right.

What does that look like?

​That's the question. And while one blanket solution might be the most desired response, I don't think there is one. But I do think there are solutions, and these solutions are going to be unique to the problems and challenges each of us face.

To parents, we are going to have to ask ourselves some tough questions. To youth workers, we will have to recognize our part in this. And together, we might have to make some significant changes in order to right the ship.

But what do you think? In Simon Sinek's assessment on the Millennial accurate?

Do you think that it should fall on corporations to adjust their practices in order to accomidate this generation?

Do you think the problem reaches beyond the millennials, and reveals a deeper heart issue within people?

I'd like to hear from you. Please leave your comments below.

​- jay

You see, to Mary, she would give birth to the Son of God. To Joseph, this baby would save his people from their sins. And to the shepherds, a Savior, the Messiah, the Christ.
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Today we celebrate no ordinary baby, nor some ordinary birth. Today we celebrate God, coming to earth with the purpose of rescuing us.

Look back with me to John 1, verse 14. "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us..."

The Word became flesh.

• God took on Flesh.
• Skin and bone. A heart. Lungs. Stomach. Intestines. A Liver. A brain. 
• His body core tempt was 98.6˚.
• He would cry, get hungry and grow tired.
• He would laugh and make jokes.
• He would eat and drink and spend time with friends.
• And he would feel the hurt of hate and the pain of death.

He was just like us.

introduction  | day one  | day two  | day three

Were you ever so excited to receive a gift that you just could wait to get it opened and begin using? You tear into it as fast as you can. You pull and shred, rip and strip. Then you hold it in your hands. But without taking any time to understand how to use the gift, you start using it, only to find out that had you taken the time to read the instruction you get more out of your gift...

I remember the Christmas I opened the Star Wars, Ewok Village. It was one of those gifts that I just had to have. Being a big Star Wars fan, the Ewok Village was the perfect playset. 

I remember tearing into the box, ripping it open and yanking everything out. The problem was, some assembly required. Parts of the village had to be put together. Knots needed to be tied, stickers needed to be applied, elevators needed to be built, and instructions to be read.

Sadly, I didn't learn. Over the years there have been plenty of opportunities to slow down and follow the instructions. But my impatience, and more often stubbornness, led me to the familiar territory of regret and disappointment. If only I had followed the instructions, I would think, maybe some of this could have been avoided.

Have you ever felt that way?

I wonder if Adam ever thought that way. While plowing the rocky fields, pulling weeds, or digging up thorns, did Adam ever say to himself, If I had only followed God's instructions, maybe...

You see, in Genesis 2, God gives the man, Adam, the instructions. Having placed Adam inthe Garden, God says, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die." ( Genesis 2:16&17 NIV) Adam was given the opportunity to eat freely from all that the Garden had to offer. Every plant, bush and tree, if it was edible or grew something edible, he could eat it. All of it was his. All of it, except for this one unique tree; the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  This tree was off limits.

Unfortunately it was simply a matter of time. The evil one came along and tricked the man and he ate the fruit from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. And from that moment on, we have been living in regret because we have chosen to not follow the instructions.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

We celebrate Christmas because of what Christmas means for us; HOPE! Our hope is found in Jesus! Why? Because he does for us what we can't do for ourselves! He follows the instructions, that we can't follow on our own. Jesus was perfectly obedient to his Father, right up to the end. And because he did, our mistakes that come because we have failed to follow the instruction are set right.

The Apostle Paul said it this way, "For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous." Romans 5:19 NIV) 

These verses aren't the easiest to read. Frankly, they can be a bit confusing. But when we slow down and read them carefully, we find the incredible gift of God's forgiveness and grace! Basicly Paul's saying, Adam, when he chose to be disobedient, messed things up for everyone. Sin became a reality. That sin, which we all carry, leads to death. But Jesus, chose to be obedient. That obedience led him to willingly lie down his life, covering over the disobedience, bringing righteousness back to men.

So now when we say, I believe that Jesus died for our my sins, and I accept him into my life as my Lord and Savior, his perfect obedience makes us right in the sight of God and brings us into eternal life.

On that first Christmas morn, God gave us a gift. That gift grew up to died to give us life. Not just life for the here and now, but life that  goes on for ever and ever and ever. And now, when we find ourselves rushing into circumstances without slowing down to follow the instructions, it's not death, but forgiveness and grace we meet on the other side.

As you prepare your heart this Christmas, slow down and remember. Look for times when following the instructions seemed like a waste of time and you ventured out on your own only to find that you put the stickers in the wrong spot. Remind yourself, God's grace is big enough for even that! Because that kind of grace leaves me in awe and wonder. How about you?